Written by Diesel the Mutt

I’ve had a pretty crazy week, if you want to know the truth. First I’m in the small place with the bars and the barking dogs, and the lady who bought me a Kong. Then these cool people come to see me and give me tummy rubs and play with me and let me bite all over them and stuff. Next thing I know, I’m all woozy with a big plastic thing around my head and the cool people are giving me hugs again.

So there I am thinking things can’t possibly get any weirder than they are right now, when they take me to this house that has this really big dog in it. I’m so excited, right, cuz I wasn’t allowed to play with dogs in the place with the bars and it’s been so barkin’ long since I’ve been able to play. We do some sniffing, and then we’re at it. She’s way bigger than me, but she’s still got tons of energy just like me. The plastic thing is cramping my style, so I ditch it, but I’ve got some soreness inside me from when I was woozy. This girl is all right, though–she plays hard, but knows when to rest, too.

So there I am, playing and running and jumping and thinking they’ll take me back to the bars one day, but it turns out they never do. I decide this girl must be my sister, cuz they give me a collar that smells like her. They give me my very own bed (never had one of those before!), some Kongs, food, water whenever I want it, and a whole big space to run around in. I also get a lot of treats. I think they’re trying to teach me something–I get lots of love and treats when I do something called “outside potty.” I don’t remember how to do it all the time–play time is just so distracting!–but I try to remember cuz I really want those treats. We go for lots of walks, too. Sometimes I get really sore–Mom and Dad say it’s because I’m not used to moving around so much. I was in the place with the bars for a very long time, and there was no room for playing in there.

Now on top of all this I find out it’s National Puppy Day today. Could things get any better than this? Here I am, a puppy, finding a new home just in time for National Puppy Day, which is all about encouraging people to adopt puppies so they can have new homes. Turns out there’s these things called “puppy mills” that are bad places for puppies to be. And puppies from these places go to stores, like bags of dog food or tennis balls. I think that’s pretty awful, if you want to know the truth. Back at the place with the bars there are lots of puppies who need homes just like the one I got. I don’t know why people would want to make more puppies when there are so many who need homes and are already here.

Anyway, my new sissy says that for National Puppy Day I should introduce myself so you’ll know who I am, in case it’s important later. I’m still little, so I don’t know much, but here’s what I know for now:

• If you’re eating near me, you’d better share. The first time Mom pulled out dinner in front of me, I belly-flopped into her plate.
• If you need anyone to pick up your shoes and carry them off somewhere you can’t find them, I’m your man.
• If you have a Kong, and I have a Kong, I want your Kong. But if you let me have yours and move over to mine, I want mine back again. Then if you move back to yours to let me have mine, I want yours again. Don’t ask me why–that’s just the way it is.
• There is a big hole filled with water in my backyard and I have fallen in like 50 times. It keeps tricking me but one day I tell you I will win.
• If you’re trimming a hedge or fixing a door, I’ll hang out between your feet, just in case you need me to bite anything.
• I am a sucker for head scratches and snuggles.
• If I like you, I will follow you around. Absolutely everywhere.

So long as we’re introducing ourselves, what should I know about you? Tell me in the comments below.