When I first heard about Puppy Tweets – a dog tag with a sound and motion sensor that humans can attach to their pooch’s collar and then read their Twitter updates (called “tweets”) – my tail wagged so fast it was nothin’ but a big ol’ blur.

I mean, I’ve been on Twitter for a real long time and so have a lot of my furiends, but I know some of you pooches out there don’t have a way with words like we do. Or maybe you’re more into barking than tweeting. This Puppy Tweets thingie would be just what you need to let your humans and other “tweeps” following you know whatever mischief you happened to be up to. Genius!

But get this – Puppy Tweets is a toy! Dogs don’t really write the tweets – they’re already programmed! Whenever you bark or move around, it automatically posts one of its 500 canned tweets to your Twitter page.

So let’s say you forgot where you buried a chew toy, and you’re digging your sixth hole trying to find it. You know what this toy would tweet? Something totally random, like “”YAHOOOOOOO! Somedays you just gotta get your bark on.” What the dog?

Even humans think it’s pretty silly. Janene Zakrajsek, who co-owns Pussy & Pooch Pethouse and Pawbar, told the Los Angeles Times, “I mean, really what is it telling you? It’s like a Magic 8 Ball toy.”

I hear ya, Janene. And so do some of my clever TJ.LA K-9 reporters, who would much rather come up with their own unique tweets like these, thank you very much.

Irie

  One day I’ll get you, big dumb dog behind the big dumb door.
  If I run at full speed, I can probably make it over that baby gate!
  Bark bark, sleep, eat, poo, pee… a puppy’s life for me.
  Me and this scary closet dog monster have some beef to work out. NOW.
  When I snuggle like this in mami and papi’s arms, I know I’ve picked the right humans…

Leroy

   I’m napping & snoring loud enough to wake up people in Australia.
  OMD! OMD! Where’s my bone? Where’d it go?! O…M…D!!!
  Yum, mom’s designer shoes are so much tastier than the ones from Target.
  @MichaelVick: You need to go away. NOW.
  UPS guy, if that box ain’t full of Kongs, get off my porch.

If you still want to get a Puppy Tweets toy for your pooch, it will be available in the fall, with a list price of $29.99.

PHOTOS: Mattel

What do you think your dog would tweet on Twitter? Let us know in the Comments section!