…the battle continues

Written by Irie the Jackahuahua

There’s a monster living in mami’s closet. Sí mis perritos, it’s a quiet monster most days. It sits in the closet and doesn’t make a sound and I sometimes even forget that it exists. But, it always comes out eventually. Usually it comes out when I’ve left my pretty blanket of white snow hairs on the carpet. Grrrowl, I get so mad when the monster comes out because I know my pretty blanket is going to go bye-bye. Mami will open the door and I’ll get down ready to attack. She trusts me to protect her from the noisy monster dog, of course.

It comes squeaking out at first and its feet roll across the carpet. It’s asleep. I don’t take my eyes off of the monstro. Then mami pulls its long tail. She tries to help, but the big monster dog’s too much for her. Y pues, then she kicks it! I wish she wouldn’t do that because then the dog monster wakes up! Its eyes glow bright and it starts to growl loud and long. Mami tries to grab onto it, but it zooms back and forth, back and forth and doesn’t stop. She can barely hold on. It’s the hungriest dog I’ve ever seen! It eats everything on the ground, EVERYTHING. Leave some for mi perrito monstro!

But, I have a strategy. I let him eat and just when he gets close to my favorite squeaky football I sneak up on him and BARK! I shoot in and out – first on his left, then from behind, then on his right. He never sees it coming. Mami laughs because she knows the monster dog is no match for me. Mami gives me i Love Dogs vitamins for dogs! So I’m super strong like Popeye when he eats spinach. Muahaha, BARK BARK Grrr!  

Soon enough though, cachorritos, I fend him off and protect my mami from the evil closet dog monster. He gets super quiet and mom pushes him back into the closet where he lives. But one day perritos, he’ll stop coming back and I’ll live happily ever after in my Jackahuahua kingdom and all the humans shall be safe from the closet dog monster thanks to yours truly!

Mis perritos, do you have a closet dog monster? Tell me about how you vanquished yours in the comments below!

Irie La Mona (The Little Doll) is a 7-month-old mixed breed, bilingual Jack Russell Terrier/Chihuahua adopted from the South Los Angeles Animal Shelter. Still a puppy, she aspires to one day host her very own show, and be the Oprah of mixed breed pups around the world! Check out her other articles!